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According to various estimates, it has been confirmed that almost 25 to 50 percent people in the entire population are introverts. This means that they prefer listening over speaking, think before acting on something, and speak softly on various issues without carrying a huge stick in their hands. It’s difficult for introverts and figure how to talk to anyone without losing their calm.
According to researcher Jonathan Cheek, it is impossible to divide all the introverts into a single category. He surveyed around 500 participants between the ages of 18 to 70 asking various questions about how much they daydream or how often do they resort to solitude? On the basis of information gathered through the survey, he inferred that there are basically 4 different categories of introverts namely social, thinking, anxious, and restrained.
No matter how much you dread talking to other people, in today’s world, it is essential to have the right skills to make your presence felt in networking events and cocktail parties. This might not be fulfilling any personal desire but serves to give a great boost to your career. You should be realizing that small talk is going to be harmless so you need to polish your conversational skills to make a positive impact.
Here are a few ways which can help introverts belonging to different categories in overcoming their introversion and freely communicating with people:
1. Control Your Anxiety – Anxious Introvert
If you are an anxious introvert, you will feel awfully uncomfortable around people. This is because you won’t be able to trust your own social skills. Even in solitude, the anxiety would never go away as you have a tendency to play situations over and over again in your head fearing if something had gone wrong during a particular time.
Small talk causes anxiety to the introverts so you tend to approach it with dread and apprehension. Are you one of those few introverts who would hide in the bathroom or would portray themselves to be busy so that they may avoid talking to someone? Staying rational and positive is the best way to curb the anxiety and you need to face any kind of situation with a strong mind. Introverts are definitely more calculative in making a move but this should not make you vulnerable to anxiety and unable to start a small talk.
2. Consider Starting with a Compliment – Restrained Introvert
If you are slow in operational pace and need to think hours before saying something or acting upon something, you will take some time to get going as you cannot spring into action immediately.
If you are unsure of how to strike a conversation or have run out of topics, consider giving a nice compliment to the other person. A simple “I really like what you are wearing” can prove to be more wondrous than you can possibly imagine it to be. It will help in bringing considerable ease to the tension and will initiate a free-flowing conversation. On the contrary, if you are not comfortable in talking to someone or have run out of topics, find out a reasonable way to end the conversation. Instantly snapping out will appear rude and will spoil the effort you have put in so far.
3. Ask a Lot of Questions – Social Introverts
This is the most common understanding of introversion where a person feels intimated while being in social gatherings. You will feel a constant fear of being the center of attention and then making a blunder. You will also be reluctant to answer the questions being put to you. Being such an introvert, you are very conscious of your personal life and would never even like to imagine yourself in a situation where it is being exposed.
Keep asking different questions from the other person so that the conversation doesn’t shift to you. By letting the person have some talk, you will get the time to make yourself comfortable and to test the situation before letting your own thoughts float in it.
4. Be Aware of Your Body Language – Thinking Introverts
By thinking introverts, you would like to imagine someone like Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter series who are so much caught up in their own world that they don’t care for the people around them. You might not be aware but your body language will show that you are not interested in a conversation despite your best efforts.
There are chances that it may insinuate exactly the opposite so be mindful of your position when you are talking. Turn your body to face the other person, do not fold your arms, and carry a broad smile on your face. If you will appear closed off, no one else will be comfortable enough to engage in a conversation and take it forward.
Many times introverts bombard themselves with questions which only make them question their own self and be conscious of their actions. “Why do I find so much comfort in being lonely – is something wrong with me?” or “How come I’m not as outgoing as my other friends?”. These questions do not hold any significant importance because it is a personal choice whether one wants to be a social person or not. Being an introvert also means that you have a creative side to your personality or are rich in knowledge so don’t pity or underestimate yourself. Feel good about yourself as that will reflect on the conversations you will be having.
According to some tests carried out by the Meyers-Briggs foundation, there are 16 different types of personality types in human beings. You can belong to any of them based on the specific traits and aspects of your personality. Research proves that extroverts and introverts have different takes on rewards like money, relationships, and food.
Being an introvert, you represent a very large part of the population but you need to speak up at the right time to see yourself flourish in the future.