Dating today is tougher than ever. People put little effort into it. It has become like a game, one minute two lovers are all over each other, and the next minute the relationship is dead.
With social media and all the dating apps available, a variety of desperate new partners are always available. One look at a person’s photo and seconds later, you are in a relationship with them, regardless of who they are or how compatible you are.
The following questions can help break this cycle of bad relationships. Get to know your boyfriend better without making it sound like an interrogation but rather, a fun discussion.
1. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
The first thing you need to know about your new beau is his self-esteem levels. This question can tell you how high or low they think of themselves. It can tell you if you’re dealing with a self-absorbed person or one with low self-esteem.
A boyfriend with low self-esteem is likely to lack confidence in the relationship, he may doubt your intention in having him as a partner, and probably seek attention from other women. All which can sabotage the relationship. On the other hand, a self-absorbed boyfriend should not even be in your life. They make selfish lovers.
2. What is your position on pre-marital sex?
Most people assume that their partner holds the same views as them concerning sex, and they cannot be more wrong. It’s important to be on the same page to avoid frustrations, disappointments, and embarrassing situations.
While a large percentage of people have pre-marital sex, others would rather wait for marriage. Some people are comfortable with having sex on a first date while others follow the 90-Day Sex Rule. Though it’s an uncomfortable question, you cannot know what your partner prefers unless you ask.
3. Do you prefer going out or staying in?
This question is a great way to have an idea of your sugar’s personality. Is he an outgoing person or an indoor guy? Are you going to be partying all-weekend? How much alone time does he need?
If you are of different personalities, with one being an introvert and the other an extrovert, it’s advisable to have a plan at this early stage of the relationship. How many times will you be going out as a couple? Are you comfortable with one partying without the other?
4. What religious views do you hold?
This question is important in so many levels. Religious compatibility is not just crucial for a smooth long-term relationship, but it can prevent confusion among the children – assuming you get there.
Couples who hold similar religious views share a sense of purpose that goes beyond shared interests and hobbies. Although you can still work it out if you hold different views, it requires more effort than the average relationship. Taking, for instance, a relationship between a staunch Christian and a Muslim, the two religions are very different and conflicting situations would come up quite often.
5. Do you want to have kids when you meet the right person?
Contrary to what most may think, this question does not make you come out as desperate. However, you have to be careful about how you phrase it. Don’t point yourself out as the future mother of his kids, or talk about your biological clock. You are just getting to know him, and checking for compatibility.
If his mind is made up about not having kids, and yet children are important to you, where is the relationship going? He might be looking for a fling, with no intention to ever settle down while you, on the other hand, are focused on the future. It’s only right that you be on the same page.
6. What is one thing that is unforgivable and can destroy a relationship?
It’s good to know what your boyfriend can tolerate and what he can’t. Some of the deal-breakers could be habits you can’t stop, and this means the relationship has no future. For instance, if your boyfriend can’t stand drunken women, and yet that’s your state when you are in a party mode, the relationship is probably a waste of time.
It can also tell about his level of maturity. If interrupting his video games is unforgivable, that says a lot about his priorities. But if dishonesty or disrespecting his family members is a deal-breaker for him, he is probably an honest person who holds people he loves in high regard. Who wouldn’t want such a man in her life?
7. What are your financial goals?
Issues concerning money are a common cause of fights and divorce among many couples. It’s important to discuss finances openly and honestly at the start of the relationship. Ask your boyfriend his views on saving and investing. Is he a “you only live once” type of guy or is he strict with his money?
Remember that if the relationship gets serious or leads to marriage, his financial decisions will affect you. His student loans, frequent splurges, and debts will have a toll on your pocket. Ask the right questions about his saving and spending habits and you can save yourself a lot of stress in the future.
8. What are the essentials of every relationship?
You and your honey have different dating histories and have come out with varying lessons from each. It’s important to ask before your marriage what according to them, is important for a lasting connection to develop. Some people value romance, date nights, and cuddling while others believe in deep conversations.
For your relationship to survive, you both have to be satisfied. You have to meet each other’s needs, and that is only possible if you communicate them early in the relationship.
9. What is the best and worst moment of your life?
This question is aims at getting to know your boyfriend better. His answers can give you an idea of the things he holds dear. It can tell of his sensitive side, what makes him tick, his experiences in life, his achievements, and failures.
His answer can speak a lot about his attitude towards life in general, the things that excite him, and the kind of life he has lived.
10. How do you react when angry?
People react differently to aggravating situations, which are bound to happen often in your relationship. It’s important essential to know if your man is the kind to shut down in such situations, or a talk-it-out kind of partner.
Does he have a history of violent reactions? Is he quick to anger? How fast does he calm down? Would he rather discuss the issue while it’s still hot, wait for the anger to subside or totally ignore it happened? These are things you need to be prepared for in the relationship and know when to motivate your man without hurting his ego.
It’s not guaranteed that your boyfriend will give honest answers. But you are sure to get a few pointers to the kind of man you are giving your heart to and if there is any hope for the future.
Heartbreaks are not easy. You would rather stay single than be in a relationship with the wrong person.
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